did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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