Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
