Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think a kid would responsible me up
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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