is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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