check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
