that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
