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Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
