The maid of honor just puked.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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