smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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