If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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