oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
