the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
