I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
