this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I fill condoms, not promises.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
