Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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