the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
