My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
