We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
