it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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