So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
