why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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