guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
