I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
