The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
