The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
