I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
