Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
