He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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