drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
