She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
