When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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