farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
