The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
