It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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