Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
