You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
