I smell stomach acid.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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