if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
