trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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