I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
