dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I had to cum in my sink.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
