they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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