With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have already put on my inside pants.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
