Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
