I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
