he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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