Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
nutella sex= disaster
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
