I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
