I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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