I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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